Sharon and Shannon

Shannon and Sharon remind me of sultry Swedish bar floozies. Even though they are quite obviously from Ohio. And I just remembered that I forgot to spell-check my Rod Stewart's wife post. PLEASE ignore the misspellings. I apologize.

Viewing Patrick Swayze's Webcam

As suggestive as this title is, as suggestive as this sweater is... I don't think it needs any further explanation or description!

Rod Stewart's 13th Wife.

I failed gym my freshman year of high school. Ask me why one day, it involves a horrible gym teacher and combat boots. There is a lot of anger in the much longer version of this story. Anger and resentment that cross state lines and have me involved with ex-nun lesbian math teachers and smoking cigarettes on a golf course in Wisconsin. The Short of it is that because I failed gym class my freshman year of high school I found myself standing on a street in Chicago whence Rod Stewart haphazardly sauntered past me. I had never listened to Rod Stewart any more than a song here or there on the radio... but when his presence crossed paths with mine I decided one day I must be a wife of his. I was 16 and only had a handful of years left before I was too old to accomplish this. Years went by, I graduated High School and I forgot about my dream of being a Mrs. Rod Stewart as quickly as a butterfly forgets that it was once a caterpillar crawling on the ground. Then (dramatic pause) in 2000 something... I've blocked out a few things and years are sometimes sketchy to me so for authenticity I won't pretend to remember exactly when this happened... my best friend and I were being jaunty American tourists in Glasgow, Scotland one day. Drinking ales and stouts. Eating bland starchy foods here and there. And it happened to be a day of some great soccer game. Some great soccer WIN. Every Scottish Soccer Hooligan for 100 Kilometers seemed to be parading drunkenly down the street. I could be wrong but I do believe that Monika and I were discussing the hotness of Scottish Soccer Hooligans when KABLAMMO she walked right into a petite and dapper dressed older gentleman helping an equally petite and lavishly dressed young lady into a car. She apologized to him, he apologized to her. Gracious smiles were exchanged between all parties as they often are when strangers are polite to one another, and we continued on our way. And then I realized it had been Rod Stewart. Again. For a little while, fueled by stout-y ales and lagers I mused on our luck and how it had now become destiny that I marry Rod Stewart one day. Monika, who never quite understood my feelings for Rod Stewart, having now touched him... been invaded by his presence too... was on the same page and we argued over who would win him first. She's a year younger than I am and therefore had the upper hand. I would wrinkle before her. She would remain in desirable youth a little longer than me. I forfeited. But I have never fully lost my passion. And then... ultimately... his daughter started showing up in my trashy bathroom magazines. Or rather... His trashy daughter started showing up in my bathroom magazines.

a Picnic of Plaids

So this is my second favorite ad, Reverend Jim's Wife remains #1. The Pie Eating Contest Plaids come in three colors: Redwood, Bamboo and Cedar. There are men's and ladies version and either is complimented with a nice moustache.

das Plaidinator (for the mayuns!)

So it's not as if the Thimbles blog were some soap opera-esque entity... but wouldn't it be interesting if it became one? And there were other blog posts from interested parties trying to decode Mel's cryptic lyrical posts for clues? Like LOST but for Thimbles? Minus the plane crash and genetically unfortunate shape of Matthew Fox's ears. Anyways. I digress. Hank asked for plaids and now they exist. I don't want to take up so much space posting images of all the men's Plaids because the avatar I've created to be my male model is just too potently sexual. I don't think your computer screens would be able to handle it.

Bleeker St. Betty Tee Shirts

We all love tee shirts, they're good staples to any wardrobe. Comfortable, easy... like me. If you know me. If you don't then I am of upstanding moral conviction. Available in Monochromes, Blues and some really delicious Reds.

Sssssnake Poofy Dress

You snake
You crawled
Between
My legs
Said 'Want
It all?
It's yours
You bet
I'll make
You queen
Of everything
No need
For God
No need
For him
Just take
My hand
You'll be
My bride
Just take
That fruit
Put it
Inside'
You snake
You dog
You fake
You liar
I've burned
my hands
I'm in
the fire